today was teachers day....expected it to be a blast but it wasnt..turned out to be kinda the opposite though....not just for me but a lot of people though...for my case though..it was kinda coz sofia made the decision to stop coming to school anymore and only for exams...yeah..i cried a bit...you all can tease me all you want but i had my reasons.....to me it wasnt just sofia not coming to school so much anymore..it was more like....something that was always there which gave familiar comfort no matter what was going away and not coming back for a long time..to lose that comfort is enough to break me down already...sofia..if u do get this post...i wanna say sorry as a failure to be a friend to you and a pillar of support...i wasnt always there like you were and i couldnt appreciate you enough to make you not leave and i cant help not blaming myself....so im saying sorry for all the bad things i've done to you from one human to another and wishes that you could somehow..just make the decision to come back....Ive realized no matter what i do to try and do to make other people happy enough while i myself is fucked up on the inside is just a futile effort...something needless and unwanted....i wanna help all the other people in the world but not myself....heh how ironic is that..

other than that nothing else happened much...just VI's IU night and some little incidents like getting drunk on 7UP ICE in the car on the way back XP....

" the empty promises that were made , floating on my stream of consciousness , into the widening hole of despair"

/Hopped!
9:00 AM

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ahaha today was azrils bday..so welll..happy bday XD? whee 1st we all walked to mcdonalds and estee ,intan all came around with the cake later on XP then intan burned her hair...which shocked me like hell but was so funny X.X Bam! and we burned countless frenchfries and so on so forth...after that we all walked to park and...had...some...cakefight thing....goddamn i never want to eat chocolate cakes ever AGAIN! I LOOKED LIKE AS IF SOME ELEPHANT SHITTED ON ME WTF!?!? dah lah one kasut missing =="...well..i looked better off than azril though XD...with one shiny spinny cap thing and a giant lollipop!...he'll look like a toddler XD rachel also got bombardeddd XD yayy! andrea went crazy though X.X...like...a cake throwing..crazy person...there was madness in her eyes o.O XD XD

anyway..other stuffs...-projects-
fuck them la...caused me a whole lot of stress this week helping other people and doing my own one at the same time...pfft...maybe thats the whole bloody reason im so grumpy these days...my bad? XD stress stress screw projects for now la...thank god the hols are coming i need so much sleep now...bleh XP

blehh lazy type more even if there IS more on my mind lol...evilness...this is what you call either fatigue or im just lazy XD goodbye =)

/Hopped!
7:39 AM

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last saturday was maxines party XD which was kinda fun =) there were people shuffling and loud trance so i guess it was kinda chun the least to say....today i was so hyper in school i dont know why ~.~...now all the effing hyperness is gone and im so fucking moody XD i dont know why ~.~ cacat fikri person....die die die die...wheee....no this is not being emo...its called being moody =) BIG DIFFERENCE PEOPLE! BIG DIFFERENCE X.X goddammit...anyway last night or..this morning actually in 3 am or something me ,intan and rach were all awake making emo lines which was kinda sesat but still fun in a way? ahahaha (P/S thank you rachel for the interesting post)

Labels: random random random and etc

/Hopped!
6:36 AM

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Due Fikri's emo-ness & lazy-ness, I, Rachel, shall update for him =p!
We must donate some happy-ness to this sad sad person.
Im sorry to say that he has a chronic disease known as "DEPRESSION" xD.
This disease it caused by too much giving up-vitis & too little happy-kimea xp?
Oh my god, I cant believe how retarded I am!
If you're reading this, then you'd better be laughing like an idiot on your computer chair =).
Or Im coming for you tonight with a jesus stick!

/Hopped!
7:42 AM

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"That familiar feeling of slipping and drifting from everything you have. That feeling of giving up and fatigue." i read that line from intans blog and its kinda like ive been feeling that thing for the past few days..all the stupid insecurity shit and stuff..haihz....my mood swings used to come once in a few months not bloody every few days.....but then again i cant stop trying can i....i have to keep putting on my happy face and just go on right? im kinda having trouble of facing the reality that what i have now isnt forever and will slip away anytime...so i dont want any attachments to hold me back when that happens i guess XP but hey thats what life was created for....so what the heck...ill just go on with whatever happens now i guess

/Hopped!
8:58 AM

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Overall day Status : okay until 4.58 pm
today i was supposed to go jogging with azril so i asked my mum but then as usual she was talking on the phone and just said no to get me off her back....for gods sake get off the phone and just SEND ME FOR ONCE IN YOUR BLOODY LIFE...so then i showed her my " im pissed at you " face and went storming off while mumbling curses then a while later she comes and scolds me for throwing a "tantrum"...all i fucking did was show her a face and she calls it a tantrum? wtf?? so i went for a shower and contained my pissed self in the room...and she comes AGAIN because my auntie asked her what was wrong with me and why was i so angry at something and bla bla bla and she scolds me again for showing "attitude"...the whole time she was scolding i was playing "brick" on my ipod and not giving a crap about her blabbering so it was fine...at 8 i got out of the room and went down for dinner and she acts all nice and happy but i just gave her my blank face so she stopped trying after a while i guess...then later while heroes ( of all times ) she came and gave me a talk about my friends and my priorities...and she stood in front of the tv....i was like...wtf go away T.T go away!!! arghhh she scolded me 3 times for god knows what reasons wth is her problem! i cant stand her anymore....i almost threw something at her to shut her up bahhhh....pissedness...

/Hopped!
7:25 AM

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today was a nice day...even if i got injected with some stupid thing and accidentally broke azrils kayu XD (SORRY~) whoosh...kinda depressing for others though looking at how they all have their problems and all....but ehh thats life la...no problems no life lo XP mum just scolded me again...1st she din let me go lynns hse then this...aiyaaa go ny now la and leave for a while..i need a holiday from her ==" its only 11.30 and she wants me to sleep? wtf?!? bahhhhh end of post XD

/Hopped!
8:39 AM

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/Hopped!
8:23 AM

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i have to stop thinking tomorrow is gonna be a better day because it always turns out not to be...today i found out...something in me died and its gonna take a while to get it back because i cant stand being used or crap anymore....ive lost the feeling to do all the stupid crap i loved to use doing and now i cant stand anything and i keep getting pissed at those around me for no particular reasons now and its killing me...with each pissy feeling i get...i get a meltdown and thats where i think all my emo crap keeps coming out from...but seriously.. is this god's funny way of screwing me up so badly?...because if it is i can screw up my own life if i want thank you WITHOUT your help...
Status : used , suicidal
Song of the Day : Over my head : the fray

/Hopped!
5:45 AM

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ughhh today class teacher told me shes gonna complain about me to my mum during report card day haihzz....suckiness...i blame the stupid gay art teacher ~.~ and HER! p.l. the 2nd pissed me off like crazy today..may you die in hell =) and i missed heroes just now....compared to yesterday..today sucks like hell..screw today...if tomorrow doesnt get better ill just die somewhere ~.~

dear p.l and company =)....please die and rot somewhere =D now now now gogogogo!!!

p/s....I'M NOT REBELLIOUS...i just dont like them XD x1000
and i almost won again...almost...

/Hopped!
7:28 AM

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whoosh today was sucked...not that much but still sucked anyway....i got scolded by HER stupid mf blah blah blah blah hope she kills herself from being too ugly >_>...and i finished my sejarah project XD yay so thick but so cacat =( pffft hopefully tomorrow's better than today since theres no maths tomorrow wheee XP
P/s....i almost won in wrestling XP mwahahha...almost...

/Hopped!
5:30 AM

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i changed the layoutt XD and finally got hold of how to thanks to intan , estee and my cousin XD whoosh wheee
today : tuition ="( , sleeping , o2jam on a cacat comp XD
status : uninterested , bored
-stupid uninteresting life ~ >_>

/Hopped!
9:05 AM

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=D blog blog blog...this should be interesting XD

/Hopped!
10:37 AM

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