today was teachers day....expected it to be a blast but it wasnt..turned out to be kinda the opposite though....not just for me but a lot of people though...for my case though..it was kinda coz sofia made the decision to stop coming to school anymore and only for exams...yeah..i cried a bit...you all can tease me all you want but i had my reasons.....to me it wasnt just sofia not coming to school so much anymore..it was more like....something that was always there which gave familiar comfort no matter what was going away and not coming back for a long time..to lose that comfort is enough to break me down already...sofia..if u do get this post...i wanna say sorry as a failure to be a friend to you and a pillar of support...i wasnt always there like you were and i couldnt appreciate you enough to make you not leave and i cant help not blaming myself....so im saying sorry for all the bad things i've done to you from one human to another and wishes that you could somehow..just make the decision to come back....Ive realized no matter what i do to try and do to make other people happy enough while i myself is fucked up on the inside is just a futile effort...something needless and unwanted....i wanna help all the other people in the world but not myself....heh how ironic is that..

other than that nothing else happened much...just VI's IU night and some little incidents like getting drunk on 7UP ICE in the car on the way back XP....

" the empty promises that were made , floating on my stream of consciousness , into the widening hole of despair"

/Hopped!
9:00 AM

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